FIRST THINGS FIRST:
The comments from the blog below (plural noun) - insightful; hilarious; thought-provoking; awesome; I-want-more.
See also: The reason I blog.
I am bursting and jiggling my legs to respond to your guys' comments - DON'T THINK I WON'T. Who you think I is.
Please, please, please keep them coming!
SECOND THINGS... .... ....NEXT:
Today I wrote in my DigiDiaries blog (The one I write for Sun) again.
So I think you should check out DigiDiaries.
And after that, definitely follow up with DigiDiaries.
...
DigiDiaries.
SANKS! ;]
What shameless plug? | 0 comments»
Nokia Lolita | 6 comments»
There are no words.
But you know I'mma talk anyway.Dude...
So, vanity. Vanity's an accessory these days. Vanity is the new eyeliner. Gone are the days when people would at least Photoshop out their MySpace Arm, for dignity's sake.
But now, there is no dignity. There is only... kissyface+peacesign L0Lz. You know what I'm talking about.
Slowly, my little cousins started growing... Started getting MySpaces... Started teaching themselves glitter-text html tricks... Started looking at their faces in the mirror a little longer...
And then
BAM
BAM
BAM,
Self-inflicted child pornography is like saggin' pants - inexplicably TRENDY.
Girl, WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS.
But I digress.
I'm much more perplexed with, and would rather explore, Why does this dumb shit occur?
I see it like this:
So, vanity. Vanity's an accessory these days. Vanity is the new eyeliner. Gone are the days when people would at least Photoshop out their MySpace Arm, for dignity's sake.
But now, there is no dignity. There is only... kissyface+peacesign L0Lz. You know what I'm talking about.
Slowly, my little cousins started growing... Started getting MySpaces... Started teaching themselves glitter-text html tricks... Started looking at their faces in the mirror a little longer...
And then
BAM
BAM
BAM,
Self-inflicted child pornography is like saggin' pants - inexplicably TRENDY.
----------------------- Allow me to digress for a second. ------------------------
As the Auntie Det-Det of three curious, absorbs-everything-like-sponges nieces, I'd love to introduce Miley Cyrus to my backhand. Yeah, I said it.
I'm pissed that they idolize someone who preaches tween self-respect and innocently See(ing) You Again (crackin' song, I'll admit), but whores her skin out like she doesn't have 7-year-olds copying her every move. Every time my niece raises the camera to her own face and does her sassy eyes, I hope one of Hannah Banana Fontana's weave tracks fall out.Girl, WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS.
---------------------------------Thank you. ------------------------------------
But I digress.
I'm much more perplexed with, and would rather explore, Why does this dumb shit occur?
- Is it the conditions of our media hungry world that demand self-love, however stilted and slut-like?
- Is it the body-of-a-goddess images we're force fed that gives girls the need to prove themselves? (Example: How "Suck it iiiin." is the new "Cheese!")
- Or is it just the uber-exploited dumb shit like this that just plain ol' makes it okay?
I see it like this:
Girls ain't gettin' no love.
You've got media stereotypes insulting your intelligence;
You've got every advertisement subtly hating on your body;
You've got The Man telling you girls can't do this-this-that;
You've got your dysfunctional family, your parents split, your daddy was never there, your boyfriend cheats on you, you weren't hugged enough as a child,
You've got every advertisement subtly hating on your body;
You've got The Man telling you girls can't do this-this-that;
You've got your dysfunctional family, your parents split, your daddy was never there, your boyfriend cheats on you, you weren't hugged enough as a child,
AIN'T NO LOVE.
Shit's harder out there for girls these days.
And so we seek out other ways of self-assurance, easier ways to find people to tell us we're pretty, we're hawt, we'z fine, we're worth it.
We use our body, our skin, our boobs, our legs, sure-fire ways that we know get people's attention. Sleazy boys' and pedophiles' attention, sure, but essentially, we need attention. If not growing up, if not from ourselves, then isn't the internet where you get everything else?
Because sex sells. Sex sells confidence like a drug.
& Because it's easier than fighting those inner demons, y'know?
It's easier to ride on that 5-second confidence high when some hormonal male comments that your photo is "HaWt, dEeYum GrUh" than it is to look at themselves and go,
And so we seek out other ways of self-assurance, easier ways to find people to tell us we're pretty, we're hawt, we'z fine, we're worth it.
We use our body, our skin, our boobs, our legs, sure-fire ways that we know get people's attention. Sleazy boys' and pedophiles' attention, sure, but essentially, we need attention. If not growing up, if not from ourselves, then isn't the internet where you get everything else?
Because sex sells. Sex sells confidence like a drug.
& Because it's easier than fighting those inner demons, y'know?
It's easier to ride on that 5-second confidence high when some hormonal male comments that your photo is "HaWt, dEeYum GrUh" than it is to look at themselves and go,
Why the hell do I need that to feel good?
I'm sure there are a jillion campaigns out there trying to teach girls to love themselves for who they are, and respect themselves at the same time. But honestly, we're fighting against a lot - a daily downpour of discouragement, idealism, hardened childhoods full of mental and physical abuse.
What I'm trying to say is:
Its a slllooooow, uphill battle.
But it's a battle worth fighting, I think.
And GAH. I honestly just want to SHAKE girls. Guys, too.
I just want to grab them by the shoulders and say, THIS IS YOUR LIFE - tall, short, chunky, skinny, single dad, hooker mom, trust issues, big feet, THIS IS YOU.
If you don't take what you've got, accept the good that you already have, and start respecting yourself the way you really want others to treat you, that emptiness will ALWAYS be there. Who are you waiting to save you? It's a selfish world out there - if all you do is shit on yourself, who do you expect to give you a hand?
I might sound like a goddamn hippie, but LOVE YOURSELF.
FIGHT TO LIKE WHO YOU ARE.
BE SOMEONE YOU'D WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH.
LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SAY, SHIT, SHE'S FLY AS F*$%. AND MEAN IT.
You're with yourself all the time. Wouldn't you at least like your stay in this body and this mind to be pleasant?
... So I'm going to go over here and breathe.
Meanwhile, what do you think the answer is?
Better role models? Safer families? Or just some ice cream & a hug?
You know where I be: bernalittlebit@gmail.com :]
- Berna
I'm sure there are a jillion campaigns out there trying to teach girls to love themselves for who they are, and respect themselves at the same time. But honestly, we're fighting against a lot - a daily downpour of discouragement, idealism, hardened childhoods full of mental and physical abuse.
What I'm trying to say is:
Kids these days are f*$%ed up, beyond their control.
And the ways in which we deal can become just as f*$#ed up.
But it's a battle worth fighting, I think.
And GAH. I honestly just want to SHAKE girls. Guys, too.
I just want to grab them by the shoulders and say, THIS IS YOUR LIFE - tall, short, chunky, skinny, single dad, hooker mom, trust issues, big feet, THIS IS YOU.
If you don't take what you've got, accept the good that you already have, and start respecting yourself the way you really want others to treat you, that emptiness will ALWAYS be there. Who are you waiting to save you? It's a selfish world out there - if all you do is shit on yourself, who do you expect to give you a hand?
I might sound like a goddamn hippie, but LOVE YOURSELF.
FIGHT TO LIKE WHO YOU ARE.
BE SOMEONE YOU'D WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH.
LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SAY, SHIT, SHE'S FLY AS F*$%. AND MEAN IT.
You're with yourself all the time. Wouldn't you at least like your stay in this body and this mind to be pleasant?
... So I'm going to go over here and breathe.
Meanwhile, what do you think the answer is?
Better role models? Safer families? Or just some ice cream & a hug?
You know where I be: bernalittlebit@gmail.com :]
- Berna
Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey | 1 comments»
Never, ever fails to get me someone-put-me-on-mute kind of laughing.
"As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes, it seemed that way."
"Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK HE'S GOING?!"
"To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, 'Hey, can you give me a hand?,' you can say, 'Sorry, got these sacks.'"
"It's funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realized that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating."
*on mute
Circle circle, dot dot | 1 comments»
Dating.
Why does that word make me want to vomit a little into a letterman's jacket?
I mean, don't get me wrong - hormonal interactions are fun. Quite fun, actually. Kind of the gooey middle of the Twinkie that is teenagedom.
You're makin' eyes, you're flirting, you do the ol' yawn-and-grope, ow ow you're on my hair...
But what constitutes this... dating?
- Is it just liking each other out loud?
- Does the label take effect before or after the 2nd date?
- Online dating: convenient or terribly, apocalyptically anti-social?
- How much physical wuh-huh is allowed within just-dating?
- Isn't dating just a synchronized dance of social chasing and elimination until someone picks a partner and/or wants out? Like a big-ass game of Simon Says?
- Why haven't we come up with a better word than dating?! (Don't even get me started on 'courtship'; Compound words + hormones = NO.)
Dating.
Talk to me.
(Let's keep it PG, ya'll)
3 Things You Should Probably Hang Your Head In Shame for Not Having in Your Kitchen | 1 comments»
3. Cuisipro's ice cream scooper that finally ACKNOWLEDGES the goddamn EXISTENCE,
and therefore the shape,
of ice cream cones.
I mean, right?!
and therefore the shape,
of ice cream cones.
I mean, right?!
BLIIIGH I AM A KRRRAKEN FROM THE SEA! | 0 comments»
Early morning Twitter that made me chuckle.
And by chuckle, I mean PANIC AND EMPTY OUT MY SAVINGS ACCOUNT
Mmm. Word vomit. | 4 comments»
Ah oh. Berna hat found sumthin' new fo' you to play with.
It's like a verbal collage of yourself.
It's like shaking your brain and spilling out all of its contents.
It's like a word vomit of your personality.
It's called a Wordle.
And it's better explained through example.
This is a Wordle of this blog.
I love that stray just-don't-be-stupid-about-it. Profoundly placed, no?
This is a Wordle of my personal blog (LOCATION: CLASSIFIED!)
Excuse the, uh, more liberal use of colloquialisms.
Aka, mah bad for the swearing.
This is a Wordle of the song that's in my head.
(TEN BUCKS IF YOU CAN GUESS WHAT IT IS!)
And it's better explained through example.
This is a Wordle of this blog.
I love that stray just-don't-be-stupid-about-it. Profoundly placed, no?
This is a Wordle of my personal blog (LOCATION: CLASSIFIED!)Excuse the, uh, more liberal use of colloquialisms.
Aka, mah bad for the swearing.
This is a Wordle of the song that's in my head.
(TEN BUCKS IF YOU CAN GUESS WHAT IT IS!)
Basically, Wordle takes whatever you want - a paragraph, a blog, a website, song lyrics - and mashes them up into a random doggypile of awesome. You customize the colors and orientation.
You customize the awesome.
It's called a "word cloud". Worrrrd clooouuuud.
The words used most commonly are the biggest, and the rest are scattered happily in between.
I resent a little bit that both top ones have the words "like" the biggest, making me sound like, a total, like, fuggin' ditz, like.
Mmmhmm, don't act like you ain't curious about'cho'z now.
Now that I've showed you mine, show me yours ;] <bernalittlebit@gmail.com>
You customize the awesome.
It's called a "word cloud". Worrrrd clooouuuud.
The words used most commonly are the biggest, and the rest are scattered happily in between.
I resent a little bit that both top ones have the words "like" the biggest, making me sound like, a total, like, fuggin' ditz, like.
Mmmhmm, don't act like you ain't curious about'cho'z now.
Now that I've showed you mine, show me yours ;] <bernalittlebit@gmail.com>
Ohhai, howsyafatha. | 2 comments»
Thanks to the magic of Google Analytics, I'd like to say sup to the following countries:
Sup, Canada, eh?
'Ello, United Kingdom!
G'Day, Australia!
你好, Singapore!
Salam Alekoum, Morocco!
Oh, & sup, US of A!
Hope I put some color in yo' day, international readers ;]
Did I miss yo' mothaland? HOLLAH.
---------------------------------------- EDIT: 7/14/08 ----------------------------------------
Sam Carty says, educate yo'self!
Namaste, India!
Hola, Dominican Republic!
Wah Gwan, Jamaica!
Namaste, India!
Hola, Dominican Republic!
Wah Gwan, Jamaica!
BETTER than safe sex AND abstinence! | 4 comments»
So, they've come up with this whole don't-have-sex-if-you-don't-want-diseases-and/or-babies thing, right? Abstinence?
And then the whole, ok-fine-touch-each-other, just-don't-be-stupid-about-it thing, right?
But oh, the Web 2.0 space - how you innovate your way into our hearts, giving us that which we didn't even know was possible, but have totally always wanted.
You don't even have to worry about STD's, peer pressure, media influence, pregnancy, maternal pants, awkward morning-after handshakes...
Cause now you can skip the sex and see exactly what cho' babies gon' look like.
(...Cause that's why teens really have sex, right? We're all just narcissists and wanna see just how cute our mini-me's would be! ...Right? ...Guys?)
(...Cause that's why teens really have sex, right? We're all just narcissists and wanna see just how cute our mini-me's would be! ...Right? ...Guys?)
Introducing... MakeMeBabies.
I know, right?! Totally don't even have to worry about the awkward pre-intercourse stages because you can already see the endproduct. Win. Winner.
Dude - Do I even have to explain?
Do I have to explain a site that told me, in orange font, "Now you can make your babies!" after I signed up?
And while I was waiting for the site to, I don't know, fornicate with itself, it told me "Please wait - it shouldn't take more than nine months ;)" ?
Dude - Do I even have to explain?
Do I have to explain a site that told me, in orange font, "Now you can make your babies!" after I signed up?
And while I was waiting for the site to, I don't know, fornicate with itself, it told me "Please wait - it shouldn't take more than nine months ;)" ?
?!?!
No. What I have to do is show you the results.
Let's play.
Me and The Mayer.
...WHAT?! DON'T ACT LIKE YOU WOULDN'T.
Me and My MiniMe, or, "What it would look like to have babies with yourself"
Sup, Bernie! CHUPRIISE.
These children are suspiciously light-skinned, considering how down we are with the brown.
Me and You-Already-Know
Yeah, foreal. I don't know if they added the duck to mock me back, but I'd say that's a pretty cute kid for me & processed meat.
Let's play.
Me and The Mayer....WHAT?! DON'T ACT LIKE YOU WOULDN'T.
Me and My MiniMe, or, "What it would look like to have babies with yourself"Sup, Bernie! CHUPRIISE.
These children are suspiciously light-skinned, considering how down we are with the brown.
Me and You-Already-KnowYeah, foreal. I don't know if they added the duck to mock me back, but I'd say that's a pretty cute kid for me & processed meat.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAHAHA.
ALRIGHT. I was gonna say go do it yourself, but you have to log-in and be annoying. Eff that.
I signed up for a Gmail account for all of us, man - we're gonna use this to check out weird stuff that asks for too much info from now on, k?
e-mail: bernalittlebit@gmail.com
password: behbeh
(this is just for the baby-makin'; we'll change the password with the next thang)
Go forth, readers. Play Jon&Kate+8 as much as you want without even contacting another human!
& Show me your results (comment, or e-mail @ bernalittlebit@gmail.com) - I'mma show 'em.
ALRIGHT. I was gonna say go do it yourself, but you have to log-in and be annoying. Eff that.
I signed up for a Gmail account for all of us, man - we're gonna use this to check out weird stuff that asks for too much info from now on, k?
e-mail: bernalittlebit@gmail.com
password: behbeh
(this is just for the baby-makin'; we'll change the password with the next thang)
Go forth, readers. Play Jon&Kate+8 as much as you want without even contacting another human!
& Show me your results (comment, or e-mail @ bernalittlebit@gmail.com) - I'mma show 'em.
Girl, I'mma hafta call you back | 0 comments»
PUT IT DOWN, TEEN DRIVERS.
Today's the day: Chu can no longer have your Razr/Sidekick/411-Giving-You-Directions in your ear while driving, or else The Man can pull ya over.
And the consequences?
$20 for the first offense
$50 for every time after that you didn't learn the frickin' first time
So now, more of us are gonna look like schizo's, yapping away without our left elbow blocking our blind spot (unless you're like me, who talks to herself often anyway.
It's alright, Berna, nobody's judging you.
Yeah, I know, I just get insecure sometimes.
Well, stop it. You've got some burning to do.)
I wonder if this'll take the "crappy" away from being synonymous with "teenage drivers".Didja go out and buy your dorky headset yet?
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