Glass, by BHJ

CURSE SCHOOL!
It stops me from chattin' it up with joo cool peeps.
But, let me get to the point of this before I have to do the bookstore dance.

I've been a huge, huge fan of Black Hockey Jesus's The Wind in Your Vagina (just go with me on this) for a while - he got popular SUPER fast on the Daddy-blogosphere front (she says while pushing her glasses up her nose) (and snorting), and, wait, I don't want to oversell this -

HE IS THE MOST HILARIOUS AND BEAUTIFULLY ARTICULATE BLOGGER
EHH
VER.
& He recently wrote this disgustingly poignant post about, well, failure.
Failure and strength and babies.

Couldn't just keep this one in my Google Reader, no, I could NAT.

So, screw your homework.
Read it immediately.

Whatchu talkin' bout, RiRi & NeYo

Tell me.

How many times have you seen this quote (or its like-worded cousins)
on an In A Relationship's MySpace?

"Don't settle for the one who kisses your ass. Wait for the one who pushes your buttons and pisses you off on a daily basis.
Those who fight hard, love harder.
Love isn't supposed to be easy...it's supposed to be worth it."

Cute, right?
I mean, can't you just imagine the passion-drugged couple crying and making out amongst the smoky ruins of their battlefield of LUV?!
...
Well, stop. I think it's stupid.
Call me J-J-Jaded, but the whole thing just sounds awfully sadistic to me.

Lots of lovahs (hi, included) know what its like to fight hard and love harder. Sometimes in the midst of it, you feel so emotionally exhausted but so justified, like "F*#%, I'm TIRED - This has GOT to be real love!
High five, you asshole, I love you!"

But I've also been with someone who pissed me off on a daily basis.
... WTF, That shit wasn't fun.
It wasn't fulfilling or romantic. Not in the short term day-to-day or the long term retrospect.
It felt like love some of the time, it felt passionate and dramatic all the time, but by the end, it mostly felt like torture.

Now, I'm not Dr. Phil or that sex talk lady on the Oh! network, but I'm pretty sure a healthy relationship shouldn't hold adjectives like "torture".


Love shouldn't necessarily be easy (though it truly is, for some couples), and the effort two people put into it should always equal to "worth it". At the same time, it's all conditional. Love works differently for different tempers, backgrounds, zodiac compatibilities...
Love is like the adult diapers brand - it Depends.

But one thing I have learned: Love should not be a painful obligation, a weight on your life. There are better things to do with yourself than be a slave to the famous "pain" of love (contrary to the crooning of certain artists whose names may/may not rhyme with Shmeona Shmewis).

So, frick, I hate seeing this quote - I feel like it allows more girls to excuse their soap opera dramatic, bawling-twice-a-week, emotional breakdown hurts-so-good type relationships and keeps so many young people from, oh, I don't know...
Having a LIFE.
Letting themselves GROW.
Finding someone who ENHANCES your existence, not BURDENS it (think... bra selection).


Whaddaya think - do you believe in this?
Should love be that much labor?
When does pain-in-the-ass luurve stop becoming "worth it" to you?
How much sense does it make to keep bleedin', keep, keep bleedin' love?

Holla front: bernalittlebit@gmail.com!

'Tis the season

Hey! Special hollah to my former Freshman15 readers - ya'll still out there?!


For all ya'll who messaged me way-back-when (& still are!) about starting your freshman year this year, being nervous, movin' away, how much underwear do I pack (TRUE STORY):

Stumbled across this pretty comprehensive Freshman Year College Packin' List
from TeenDiariesOnline.com.

My favorite part about it? The Late Night Snacks section ;]

(I confess: Being the APnerd at heart, Collegeboard.com was my friggin' MySpace senior year and I used their list - told me to bring boring stuff like extension cords and blankets. Didn't mention Ramen once.
Hello. Get with the priorities of the GENERATION.)

Happy packin'!


P.S: You were the one who wanted to biologically look like Sailor Moon, right? Dude, I gotchu.
No?
P.P.S: Ohhh, but you did ask me about Nintendo couture. Don't lie. I won't tell anyone.

Re: Nokia Lolita - KatyPerryianism

So I'm scrolling through your awesome comments from NokiaLolita (ThankyouTHANKYOU!), and I notice something. I ponder it.

Has my scrollbar always been such an ugly shade of blue?

No, seriously - I notice that something irks Janet (Hay, gurl) the same way it has always been irking somanyofus:

I call it KatyPerryianism.

Exactly.
That's the face I make when I think about it, too.

So she macked on a chick and enjoyed it.
Also, she sampled her fruit-flavored petroleum.
We all know of your drunken lesbian escapade, Perry, but do you know what kind of ridiculous trend you just gave an anthem to? Thereby making it not only okay, but cult-like and pelvis-thrustingly contagious?!

FAUX LESBIANISM.
Ask about it.

KatyPerryianism is the new "Look, I'm Religious - Ignore the Blunt/Shot/FratBro's Penis at the End of this Wrist" Bracelet – very little people actually root their morals in Catholicism, but yo' Jewish gramma is selling it at the flea market for $3. It's cheap attention.
Mary's your Homegirl cause you're, y'know, "down-to-earth".
You take pictures making out with your roommate cause you, y'know, "Luv to partyyy! Amigad, XO PARTYING."
It's being different - no, being "controversial and proud" - thats become a goddamn trend, but as we can see, you don't need actual morals to be trendy.

You basically just need to be drunk.
Or, y'know.
Naturally stupid.

I had this chat with someone the other day: Maybe displaying faux-lesbianism, be it on your MySpace “Orientation” or in/around your mouth, is supposed to give the viewer a sense of “I could possibly have a threesome with this girl.” Cue tingling in pants. Follow up with the raunchy comment. Follow up with the STD.

But how offensive and annoying is that to those who actually identify themselves as bi/homosexual, the (pardon my SoCal) legit who endure the social prosecution and don't give themselves a choice of ducking out once you can't take the heat (not the kind in your pants.)? Not to say that everyone takes this KatyPerrysexualism so seriously, but EFF – if being brown became a trend, and all the pasty-whites start flaunting their tan-tasticness-from-a-bottle, I might go on a lemon-juice-&-sponge rampage to expose those suckers who ain't really down with the brown.

It's the claiming what you ain't that irritates me.

But Ian brought up a good point: All this banter on the female image, Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, check-out-my-new-training-bra -- maybe its not all about attention depravity.

"The problem is that the person isn't being challenged to grow and discover their potential. They seek confirmation of their perfection, and if they get it, they get complacent with their existence. But one day they will have a difficult time, and they won't be able to rely on anyone but themself, and they'll either rise to the occasion or crumble..." -- Ian

This is true. It's a never-ending cycle of whorebaginess.
Maybe its that attention is too easy - ya show ya boobs, the boys go WOO. You ride on your looks - or what you Photoshop as your "looks" - and you don't consider that there's more to do with yourself than RateAPic (7th grade. Guilty.).
But unless someone kicks the whore in the head, or pushes them to give a crap about their intellect or personality, what else will they know what to do but be a whore? I mean, these are our future legislators and registered voters - isn't anyone else alarmed?!

It could be that I am tired, or that I have my head so far into my pretentious ranting that I can'ts rants no mores. I wanna see where this GOES.

What has caused this sudden switch in lesbian sentiment from "YUCK" to "YUSS"?
What's the difference between being experimental & being trend sheep?
& Baggy pants, phone bling, pop singers leading bisexuality -
What the hell kind of ridiculous trend could be NEXT?!

Verbalize it, like the guy talking to himself behind me in the library right now: bernalittlebit@gmail.com!

The Art of Small Talk

THE GREETING. DAMNIT.
"Oh. Migad. OMIGAD."
"Dude!"
"fuckfuck don't look, walk away before she... shit... OH, heyy!"

WHEREIN YOU EXPRESS REGRET FOR YOUR NEGLECT.
"It's been like, foreverrrr! Omigadyoulooksogood. Where have you BEEEEEEN?!"
"Duuuuuude. The last time I saw you was, what... (mutual agreement on obscure past event) Y-yeah! Wow... so long ago... Really long..."
"...Heeeeyyyyy. Hi."

YOUR EXCUSE.
"Well, you know! I'm so like, bizzy!"
"Life, man! I've just been really busy, man. Things have been hectic. (shrug & spread out arms, like your life is so epic that it's beyond explaining to you)"
"Busy."

WHERE YOU PRETEND TO CARE/UPDATE ENOUGH TO FEEL "UPDATED"/HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHAT "THINGS" HAVE BEEN "HECTIC"
"Oh. Well, y'know, there's like.. schooool, and there's like... wooorrrrk... Stuuuuuuff... (pause). Okaysowhatabout youuuu!? (fake hit on arm)"
"I'm just like, doin' my thing, y'know? Tryna survive. Gettin' that money! Hhyknow, haha... Gettin... money... (chuckle off shame of bad joke and, y'know, lying. Scratch neck.)"
"Oh, around. Um... you know (wave hand in an vague circle), around."

WHERE YOU LOOK FOR A WAY OUT.
"Okayweeeell, I don't want to keeeep you - I'll let you get back to your thing! Your thang! Doin' yo thang! (more fake hits)"
"But hey, bro, 'sgood seein' you (overly aggressive hand-shake-back-pat wherein you check each other's masculinity real fast) - don't be a stranger... be good... drive... safe... and um.. "
"(fake ringtone out of side of mouth) Oh damn, that's me, I've gotta take this..."

WHERE YOU EXCHANGE INFO YOU'RE NEVER GONNA USE.
"So like, Facebookme Myspaceme AIMme Twitterme Plurkme textmeeee. ...Or like, call me."
"Yeah, just hit me up on my celly-cell, you got my new number? Yeah, just, y'know... hit me up whenever... When you're like, in the area, hit me up... Celly-cell..."
"(Into phone that is off) What? She put it in her where? Dixie cup?! (back to human) Man, I've gotta run, but it was nice seeing you..."



AND THEN YOU SAY IT.
"We need to hang out!"
"We've gotta hang out."
"We ...erh, hang out."

(walk away, for God's sake)


Don't act like you haven't.

Hey.

I miss you.

Stay tuned for further nonsense!
So, do you guys like it better when I rant about social issues, or link to stupid shit? Ya'll made a lot of noise when I lost my breath there about the female image and Miley Cyrus.

I 'preciate dat.

Or maybe a combination of both?
Like when I get original AND green tea at Pinkberry?