Whatchu talkin' bout, RiRi & NeYo

Tell me.

How many times have you seen this quote (or its like-worded cousins)
on an In A Relationship's MySpace?

"Don't settle for the one who kisses your ass. Wait for the one who pushes your buttons and pisses you off on a daily basis.
Those who fight hard, love harder.
Love isn't supposed to be easy...it's supposed to be worth it."

Cute, right?
I mean, can't you just imagine the passion-drugged couple crying and making out amongst the smoky ruins of their battlefield of LUV?!
...
Well, stop. I think it's stupid.
Call me J-J-Jaded, but the whole thing just sounds awfully sadistic to me.

Lots of lovahs (hi, included) know what its like to fight hard and love harder. Sometimes in the midst of it, you feel so emotionally exhausted but so justified, like "F*#%, I'm TIRED - This has GOT to be real love!
High five, you asshole, I love you!"

But I've also been with someone who pissed me off on a daily basis.
... WTF, That shit wasn't fun.
It wasn't fulfilling or romantic. Not in the short term day-to-day or the long term retrospect.
It felt like love some of the time, it felt passionate and dramatic all the time, but by the end, it mostly felt like torture.

Now, I'm not Dr. Phil or that sex talk lady on the Oh! network, but I'm pretty sure a healthy relationship shouldn't hold adjectives like "torture".


Love shouldn't necessarily be easy (though it truly is, for some couples), and the effort two people put into it should always equal to "worth it". At the same time, it's all conditional. Love works differently for different tempers, backgrounds, zodiac compatibilities...
Love is like the adult diapers brand - it Depends.

But one thing I have learned: Love should not be a painful obligation, a weight on your life. There are better things to do with yourself than be a slave to the famous "pain" of love (contrary to the crooning of certain artists whose names may/may not rhyme with Shmeona Shmewis).

So, frick, I hate seeing this quote - I feel like it allows more girls to excuse their soap opera dramatic, bawling-twice-a-week, emotional breakdown hurts-so-good type relationships and keeps so many young people from, oh, I don't know...
Having a LIFE.
Letting themselves GROW.
Finding someone who ENHANCES your existence, not BURDENS it (think... bra selection).


Whaddaya think - do you believe in this?
Should love be that much labor?
When does pain-in-the-ass luurve stop becoming "worth it" to you?
How much sense does it make to keep bleedin', keep, keep bleedin' love?

Holla front: bernalittlebit@gmail.com!